Fergie, Thanks muchly for the advice, all is now well and I can welt away ...

Fergie, Thanks muchly for the advice, all is now well and I can welt away on the keyboard my confidence fully restored.

Mario, I have just returned from far north tropical Queensland and 7 days ...

Mario, I have just returned from far north tropical Queensland and 7 days of gigs. It was like a scene from "Deliverance"shot in a steam bath surrounded by 28 Ft saltwater cocs and cane toads the size of a baby's head. The main pastime is the consummation of 4xxx beer up to the point were one more swally would result in the swallyer bursting. I therefore had not read your touching story on the life of the renound Figero. What I am about relate will, no doubt, cause you to gasp in amazement. You wrote that Figero vanished in the late 60s early 70s. I will now go back about 40 years. I had just joined my first band here in OZ. We had been booked to play in the Northern Territory at one of their great cultural events. I re-fare to the Australasian Open Men's Arse Kicking Championships. One of the contestants was billed as The Masked Midget. He was to appear in the 4th bout and when he entered the there was a gasp from the crowd, a gasp of disbelief. The Masked Midget was an Omani-PD. He had but one leg. The man was a martial arts wonder and needless to say he was victorious to the point of winning the crown. This though, is the part that has left me gob smacked since reading your touching massive. When he was presented with the champions belt he took the mike and addressed the crowed. He spoke in a Belfast accent and told them of a boxer back in his homeland when he was a boy by the name of Rinty Monacan, who would always finish his bouts with a song. He then proceeded to render, in a beautiful tenor voice, the great aria "Your tiny hand is Frozen", from La Boheme". He was gone before I could get near him to ask him anything about himself. I never met him again. I did though find out this tale from the local blackfellas. Round about 1970 a ship full of circus performers had been lost in a cyclone off the NT coast. There were no survivors it was said, However the local aboriginal people, the Crackatinnee, tribe, found washed up on the beach, what they thought was a small boy. He turned out to be a one legged man who spoke a very strange language. His greeting was" wataboutyez" and givuzafeg. The people had gone walkabout, or in his case hopabout, so that is all i can tell you about the man I now believe was Figero.

Jackie, the omission of the in-line spell checker is a feature (or lack ...

Jackie, the omission of the in-line spell checker is a feature (or lack of feature) of the current version of Internet Explorer, version 9 which I suspect you are using - I think I recall you saying you recently got a new computer.

Anyway, all is not lost. You can either switch to a new browser which does include this feature, such as Mozilla Firefox (get it here, www.firefox.com) or install the speckie add-on for internet explorer, http://www.speckie.com/dload/

If you go with the Firefox option you will also need to add your dictionary of choice - in the post message window right click in the message box and then 'languages > add dictionaries', choose your dictionary in there (there is an Australian version but if you wish to use the proper English version, choose British!!), install, restart Firefox and you are ready to go.

For Speckie, once installed you will also need to add your dictionary. To do this go to Tools > Speckie Settings > Get more dictionaries (you may have to first enable the Menu Bar as it is disabled by default. Right click on an empty part next to the address bar and tick 'menu bar').

You will need to restart the browser at each stage.

Fergie, What happend to spell check on the site? Did we have one? I find ...

Fergie, What happend to spell check on the site? Did we have one? I find as the years go on I seem to fortig my spellgin or is ti my keyboadr skisll are gonig.

Get an earfull and feast your mincers on this.Stochlo Rosenberg playing" ...

Get an earfull and feast your mincers on this.Stochlo Rosenberg playing" All of Me." Gerry, get the oual mangle ready.How do these people get this good.I think I may become a Gispy, do you thimk that might help?

Dear Mario McNab ...

Dear Mario McNab,

I am the President and worshipful treasurer of the Amalgamated Gravediggers and Allied Coffinmakers Union. It has come to our attention through your recent post that a certain Figaro McCormick has been digging graves in Milltown Cemetery despite the fact that he is not a union member. That makes him a blackleg.

Not only that but he appears to have only one leg anyway which is expressly forbidden by Rule 67 subsection 12, clause 1(d) of our statute book. This means he hasn’t a leg to stand on.

It is with deep regret that we have to inform you that unless this individual come forward we will have no option but to dig these graves up again.